Thursday 23 June 2016



TOP 40 HORROR COMEDY

"While horror comedy films provide scares for audiences, they also provide something that dramatic horror films do not: "the permission to laugh at your fears, to whistle past the cinematic graveyard and feel secure in the knowledge that the monsters can't get you."

                                                                                      Bruce G. Hallenbeck
Comedy-Horror Films: A Chronological History

Ever since comedic duo Abbot and Costello first met the Universal monster lineup, beginning with Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948), horror comedy movies have been a genre that hoped to make audiences laugh one minute and scream in terror the next! IHdb counts down the Top 40 Horror Comedy movies from the last 50 years, ranking them by aggregated score from online review website Rotten Tomatoes.

Is your favorite film on the list? Enjoy!!!


#40   An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)
Rotten Tomatoes Score:  7%


[the undead Amy rises from a slab as a zombie]
Amy Fitch: It took me four years on a stairmaster to get a package like this. You ripped through it like a lamb chop!
Andy McDermott: This can't be happening.
Brad: Don't blame me Andy. I warned you.
Amy Fitch: [to Andy] Wait a minute. You knew about this all along?
Cadaver: Hey, keep it quiet! Some of us are trying to rest in pieces here.
[Andy starts banging his head against the wall]
Andy McDermott: I'm losing... my freaking... skull!


#39   Piranha 3DD (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes Score:  12%


Maddy: Chet, tell me you did not fire our lifeguards and replace them with... strippers.
Chet: "Water-certified" strippers.


#38   Dead Heat (1998)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 14%


Det. Roger Mortis: You know, the weird thing is, I feel fine. I feel like I could run in the Boston Marathon.
Det. Doug Bigelow: Hey, no, you couldn't, Roger. It's not opened to dead people.
Det. Roger Mortis: You think they'd check?
Det. Doug Bigelow: Oh, they're very strict now.


#37   Idle Hands (1999)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 16%



Anton: Hey, I didn't kill anyone on purpose, okay?
Mick: Yeah, well, we weren't in hell! I mean, there was this bright white light at the end of a long tunnel, right, and there was these chicks' voices, and that music...
Anton: Music?
Pnub: Yeah, kinda uncool music, like, Enya. And these chicks' voices, they were saying, "come to us, come towards the light".
Anton: So what happened?
Mick: We figured, fuck it, I mean, it was really far!


#36   Student Bodies (1981)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 25%


Principal Peters: Hasn't there been enough senseless killings? Let's have a murder that makes sense!


#35   Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 27%


Ted Swan: We have to convince the little housewife out there that the tomato that ate the family pet is not dangerous!


#34   Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 27%


Fletch: Yep, lesbian vampires. Just another one of God's cruel tricks to get on my tits. Even dead women'd sooner sleep with each other than get with me it would appear. But eatin' me alive, oh no, that's fine. Next time he'll have me bummed by a big gay werewolf I swear.


#33   Club Dread (2004)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 29%


Jenny: [Re: Coconut Pete's song "Naughty Cal"] Our lives depend on us interpreting the dumbest fucking song I've ever heard!
Coconut Pete: No, please, say what you're really thinking. I'm not sensitive at all!


#32   Demon Knight (1995)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 37%


[the Collector appears, holding up Irene's severed arm]
The Collector: You want your arm back, Irene? I can make it happen.
[Irene raises the stump of her arm]
The Collector: Is that a yes?
Irene: No. That's me giving you the finger, asshole!
The Collector: I'll get back to you.
[disappears]


#31   Dark Shadows (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 37%



[at a hippie commune]
Barnabas Collins: I am reminded of a line from Erich Segal's 'Love Story': "Love means never having to say you're sorry." However, it is with sincere regret that I must now kill all of you.
[screaming is heard at the commune]





#30   Wacko (1982)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 39%




Mrs. Doctor Graves: Poor Daddy's been under such a strain recently.
Mary Graves: If you ask me, he's acting like he just killed someone.
Mrs. Doctor Graves: Mary! Your father's a doctor... He kills people every day.


#29   Lake Placid (1999)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 39%




[after seeing Mrs Bickerman leading a blindfolded cow to the lake to be eaten by the crocodile]
Sheriff Hank Keough: Ma'am, your husband Bernie, you didn't by any chance lead him to the lake blindfolded too?
Mrs. Bickerman: If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it!


#28   Zombie Strippers (2008)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 39%




Maj. Camus: So what do we have to do to take one of these zombies down, doc?
Dr. Chushfeld: Well, what works for us is we've been surgically removing the medulla oblongata.
[Camus cocks shotgun and blows a zombie's head off]
Dr. Chushfeld: Or that.


#27   Vamp (1986)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 40%




Keith: Testy! You wanna know why I'm testy? I'll tell you why I'm testy! Today I was nearly hung, I got into a fight with a psychotic albino, I met a human pin cushion in the bathroom, I ate a cockroach, my best friend disappears and then I'm nearly assassinated by a runaway elevator! I'VE HAD A BAD DAY!


#26   Feast (2005)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 43%




Hero: Listen to me. A storm o'hell's coming down on this place any second. I don't know what they are, I don't know where they came from. All I do know is that these fuckers are fast, nasty, and hungry... and there's four of 'em. They got claws like Ginsu knives and more teeth than a chainsaw. They're comin'... right now. So we gotta lock this bar down. That means doors, windows, drains, and zippers, and we gotta do it now. You! Get a phone, call the cops, National Guard, townies, anybody who kicks ass, and get 'em out here. Any questions?
Bartender: Yeah. Who the hell are you?
Hero: I'm the guy that's gonna save your ass.
[a monster immediately reaches through the window and kills him]


#25   The 'Burbs (1989)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 46%




Mark Rumsfield: [Pounds] Good solid walls...
[Pounds]
Mark Rumsfield: Good solid floors.
[Someone in the basement pounds in response. Rumsfield grins]
Mark Rumsfield: Oh-ho. Got somebody tied up in the ol' cellar, have yah, Rube?


#24   Eight Legged Freaks (2002)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 48%




Larry: Dude did you piss your pants?
Bret: Come on we got to go! We got to get out of here! They're coming!
Randy: Looks like the only thing going is you dude!


#23   House (1986)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 50%




Harold: Hey, it's great to have a new neighbor. Woman lived here before you was nuts. Biggest bitch under the sun. Just a senile old hag really. Wouldn't be surprised if someone just got fed up and offed her. Know what I mean?
Roger: She was my aunt.
Harold: Heart of gold though. Just uh, a saint really. And uh such a beautiful woman, for her age.


#22   Parents (1989)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 50%


Nick Laemle: Michael, are you ready to behave? I thought I tell you a little story. Want to hear a story. I tell you a little story and I want you to shut up until I'm finished.
Michael Laemle: [Tied to a chair by his father] You eat people.
Nick Laemle: I've been watching you, Michael. You're an outsider, you're not like them. You're like us.
Michael Laemle: I don't love you any more.
Lily Laemle: Yes you do.
Nick Laemle: We're bound for life, no matter how much you hate us.
Nick Laemle: [as he slowly unties Michael] I'm untying, and when you're free. You can sit down with us an eat, or could run outside and shout your little secret to the world. And you know what they'll do, Michael hmm? They'll come here and they'll burn us. Is that what you want, you want to see them burn your parents?
Lily Laemle: Mint jelly?


#21   The Frighteners (1996)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 64%


Frank Bannister: [to Stuart and Cyrus] Why is it that flies stick to you guys like shit to a blanket?
Cyrus: Ha ha, very funny. You're a funny guy, Frank. You know, all you think about is yourself. I could complain, too, you know. I would like some new clothes. You get to dress nice. Here I am still looking like Linc from The Mod Squad.
Frank Bannister: You died in the 70's. It's a bummer.






#20   Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 67%


Shagal, the Inn-Keeper: [a young woman tries to fend off Shagal, a Jewish Vampire, with a cross] Oy vey, have you got the wrong vampire.


#19   Bad Taste (1987)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 68%


Barry: Why can't aliens be friendly?
Derek: There's no glowing fingers on these bastards, we've got a bunch of Extra-Terrestrial psychopaths on our hands, like a visit from a planet full of Charlie Mansons, they've started on something small, its my guess they'll go onto something bigger next time, Christchurch, Wellington...
Barry: Auckland?
Derek: Yeah, well, that wouldn't be so bad.


#18   Night of the Creeps (1986)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 69%


Detective Cameron: I got good news and bad news, girls. The good news is your dates are here.
Sorority Sister: What's the bad news?
Detective Cameron: They're dead.


#17   Black Sheep (2006)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 70%


Henry: What's that?
Experience: Geranium: aromatherapy for uplift and hormonal balance.
Henry: Do your hormones really need balancing?
Experience: Considering I've been attacked by genetically-engineered monsters, jumped off a moving vehicle, been chased across a paddock, dragged into a torture chamber, pulled into a mountain of rotting flesh - yes, my hormones need fucking balancing!


#16   Army of Darkness (1992)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 72%


Ash: Klaatu Barada Nikto.
Wiseman: Well, repeat them.
Ash: Klaatu Barada Nikto.
Wiseman: Again.
Ash: I got it, I got it! I know your damn words, alright?
[later in the graveyard]
Ash: Klaatu Barada N... Necktie... Neckturn... Nickel... It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word! Klaatu... Barada... N...
[coughs]
Ash: [pause] Okay then... that's it!
[Ask takes the book and all Hell suddenly breaks loose. Ash runs away back to the castle]
Wiseman: When you removed the book from the cradle, did you speak the words?
Ash: Yeah... basically.
Wiseman: Did you speak the exact words?
Ash: Look, maybe I didn't say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah!


#15   Beetlejuice (1988)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 81%


Adam: What are your qualifications?
Beetlejuice: Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?! You think I'm qualified?


#14   Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 84%


Tucker: [Unsure of what to say to the sheriff] Oh hidy ho officer, we've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house, when kids started killing themselves all over my property.


#13   Gremlins (1984)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 85%


Billy Peltzer: They're Inside.
Kate: All Of Them? What're they doing?
Billy Peltzer: They're watching Snow White. And they love it.


#12   Tremors (1990)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 85%


Rhonda LeBeck: They only respond to vibration, right? Couldn't we... distract them somehow?
Valentine McKee: Yeah, something to keep 'em busy, like a... like a decoy!
Earl Bassett: Hey Melvin... wanna make a buck?


#11   Slither (2006)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 86%


[Starla Grant examines Wally and Trevor, unconscious after the alien worms forced their way into their mouths]
Starla Grant: They're still alive.
Margaret: Praise Jesus
Jack MacReady: [to Margaret] Praise "Jesus"? That's fucking pushing it! This shit's about as far from God as shit can get! Either of you ever seen anything like that? You even heard of anything like that? Huh? Me neither... and I watch Animal Planet all the fucking time!






#10   Trick 'r' Treat (2007)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 86%


[Steven gets prepared to bury Charlie's body in the backyard]
Steven: [takes the tarp off of Charlie] Happy Halloween.
Billy: [shouting from the top floor bedroom window] Daddy! I'm back from Trick-or-Treating!
Steven: [whispers] Billy. Shh. Please, be quiet.
Billy: [shouts] Why?
Steven: Because you'll bother the neighbors, now go watch Charlie Brown and I'll be in in a minute.
Billy: Charlie's Brown's an asshole!
Steven: Billy Wilkens! Language!
[Steven sighs continuing to bury Charlie]


#09   An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 89%


[Appearing for the first time as the undead]
Jack: David, you are hurting my feelings!
David: Hurting your feelings? Has it occurred to you that it might be unsettling to see you arise from the grave to visit me?


#08   Zombieland (2009)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 89%


[first lines]
Columbus: Oh, America. I wish I could tell you that this was still America, but I've come to realize that you can't have a country without people. And there are no people here. No, my friends. This is now the United States of Zombieland. The plague of the 21st Century, remember mad cow disease? Well mad cow became mad person became mad zombie. It's a fast acting virus that leaves you with a swollen brain, a raging fever, makes you hateful and violent and leaves you with a really bad case of the munchies.


#07   The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 90%


Burt Wilson: I thought you said if we destroyed the brain, it'd die!
Frank: It worked in the movie!
Burt Wilson: Well, it ain't working now, Frank!
Freddy: You mean the movie lied?!


#06   Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 90%


Seymour: Every household in America? Thousands of you eating... that's what you had in mind all along, isn't it? We're not talking about one hungry plant here, we're talking about world conquest!
Audrey II: No shit, Sherlock.


#05   Arachnophobia (1990)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 91%


[noticing the dead spider Lloyd took out of the cereal box]
Milt Briggs: What could have killed it?
Dr. Ross Jennings: The shock of seeing Lloyd?
Sheriff Lloyd Parsons: [introducing Delbert to Doctor Atherton] Excuse me. Professor? This is our town exterminator.
Delbert McClintock: Delbert McClintock, infestation management. Always nice to meet a collegue.
Sheriff Lloyd Parsons: Now, he believes he came across one of the offending spiders a couple of hours ago.
Doctor James Atherton: Might you have brought it with you?
Delbert McClintock: Actually, he's probably still at the bottom of my shoe. You really can't tell what it is anymore.

#04   Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Rotten Tomatoes Score:    92%


Ed: Any zombies out there?
Shaun: Don't say that!
Ed: What?
Shaun: That!
Ed: What?
Shaun: The zed-word. Don't say it!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!
Ed: All right... are there any out there, though?
[looking out of the letter-box, he sees an empty street]
Shaun: I can't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that.
[he turns his head and sees a pack of zombies]
Shaun: Oh, no, there they are.


#03   The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 92%


Mordecai: Cleanse them. Cleanse the world of their ignorance and sin. Bathe them in the crimson of... [pauses] Am I on speakerphone?
Hadley: No, absolutely not. Speakerphone, no, no, I wouldn't do that.
Mordecai: Yes I am. I can hear the echo.
Hadley: Oh, my God, you're right. Hang on one second, I'll take you off.
Mordecai: That's rude. I don't know who's in the room.
[Hadley pretends to take Morecai off speaker]
Hadley: Okay, there you go.
Mordecai: That's better [starts talking sinisterly again] Don't take this lightly, boy. It wasn't all by your 'numbers'; the Fool nearly derailed the invocation with his insolence. Your futures are murky; you'd do well to heed my - [pauses again] I'm still on speakerphone, aren't I?
Hadley: No. You're not. I promise.
Mordecai: Yes I am! Who is that? Who's laughing?
Sitterson: [pounds head on desk laughing hysterically]


#02   What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 96%


Viago: Yeah some of our clothes are from victims. You might bite someone and then, you think, 'Oooh, those are some nice pants!'.
Viago: Deacon. How was your night, last night?
Deacon: I transformed into a dog and had sex.
Viago: Cool!

#01   Ghostbusters (1984)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 97%


[upon seeing the Slimer]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [very uncompfortably] Come in. Ray
Dr Ray Stantz: [on the walkie talkie] Venkman! I saw it! I saw it!
Dr. Peter Venkman: It's right here, Ray. It's looking at me.
Dr Ray Stantz: He's an ugly little spud isn't he?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I think he can hear you, Ray.
Dr Ray Stantz: Don't move! It won't hurt you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [the Slimer charges at Venkman] Aaaaaahhh! Aaaaaahhh!


Missed out of IHdb's other list of Top horror films?
Check them out here!












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